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  • Writer's pictureJordan Abbruzzese

Know When To Let Go

Updated: Apr 2, 2020

Last Friday, I was fortunate enough to attend my local NAWBO (National Association of Women Business Owners) chapter's Visionary Leadership Conference. The day was filled with smart, inspiring women - and may have also included a women's empowerment video at lunchtime with scenes from Black Panther and Wonder Woman that made me cry into my fancy water glass.

Throughout the conference, I sat in on a variety of sessions including Conversational Intelligence, and Accepting Criticism and Feedback, because 2018 is all about self improvement, y'all!

2018, for me, was also about letting go of toxic relationships. With people, with things, with ideas. It has been a difficult journey, and I have often lost my way or blamed myself - because sometimes, that is the easiest thing to do. We turn on ourselves instead of seeing where others have fallen short in supporting us. And you know what? We deserve better.

The conference keynote was Linda Clemons, CEO of Sisterpreneur, Inc. As a part of her engaging and insightful presentation, Linda gave me the reminder that I needed, loud and clear into her microphone:

If it doesn't help you grow, let it go.

I felt it in my heart, and scrambled to write the words down in my journal.

If it doesn't help you grow, let it go.

Sometimes people, habits, jobs, hobbies - do not benefit us anymore. And I don't mean that in a selfish way, but it is okay to re-evaluate what helps us be our best. When it comes to our mental health and well-being, we have permission to be a little picky. It will hurt at first, and be difficult, but it can be done.

For example, I played softball competitively for 15 years. It was a part of my identity, but around year 10, I slowly started to hate it. However, the travel softball lifestyle was all I knew, I felt like it made my parents proud, and if I just kept pushing that I would fall in love with the sport again. I eventually went on to play in college, began to dislike it even more, but kept going thinking it would get better when all I wanted to do was walk away.

Halfway through my freshman year, I started experiencing excruciating hip pain. Then, it spread to my other hip until both hips and my groin hurt so badly that I could barely walk or put on pants without wincing. A few doctors later, I finally learned that I had three hernias and needed surgery. I stopped playing, prepared for surgery that summer, then went to physical therapy for months following the procedure. During this time, I told my coach that I was quitting for good. It was emotional, and required a lot of thought, but I was done.

Please do not be like me. Do not wait until you have literal holes in your body before you know that it is time to give something up. You do not need an excuse to say goodbye to someone or something that is causing you pain. And obviously, this is a metaphor. Your heart can easily get holes torn in it too.

So, give your day-to-day routine a little thought. Is every part of it bringing you joy? What can you afford to let go, to walk away from, in order to make yourself happier?

And simply:



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