• Jordan Abbruzzese

I Apparently Share Nightmares With Puppies

Updated: Apr 2


Over the past couple of weeks, I have experienced a wide variety of nightmares. They are probably mostly brought on by stress, but they have been vivid, horrifying and - sometimes a little less than rational.

For example, the other night I woke up, heart pounding, because I was having a dream that my boyfriend was slowly killing off everyone I went to high school with...by using toothpicks. He was preparing little shot glasses with cinnamon and a liquid to help them sleep better (not sure why he was doing this for everyone in my hometown) and was slipping large splinters of toothpicks into them so they would swallow the toothpick piece and slowly choke.

He had made a little drink and asked me to bring it to one of my classmates, and when the cinnamon shifted in the glass I saw the toothpick. IT WAS YOU! I told him in the dream, as he sadly came over and tried to smother me. I didn't want to do this. You weren't supposed to find out, he calmly said with tears in his eyes.

My own eyes shot open, legs tangled in my comforter as I turned to a snoring Tobias. Hey, I nudged him with my foot. He sleepily stirred, huh? I asked him if he was going to try to kill me with a toothpick. He didn't say anything, but went back to sleep. I found his silence unnerving.

*****

The very next night, I had a dream that I was by my childhood home, going door-to-door looking for my little sister. It was getting dark, and eventually only the streetlights were on. I was unable to find her and was beginning to get worried.

And that is when I heard it.

The loud, vrooming of a vacuum cleaner turning on.

I looked down the street, and a black, sleek vacuum cleaner was roaring, lit up, and not plugged into anything! It was an autonomous vacuum, looking right at me. Then suddenly, its wheels started spinning as it zoomed at me. I screamed and began to run.

"Over here!" said one of my coworkers, who let me into her house (she does not and has never lived on my parent's street, by the way). We stood in the front hall, doubled over and panting, when we heard a knock at the door. I thought it was finally my sister! "NO!" my coworker yelled but it was too late - I opened the door and the VACUUM WAS ON HER PORCH!

I slammed the door and she grabbed her keys. "They know we are here now, we don't have a lot of time," she pushed me out a side door and we jumped into her car. She turned it on and we began driving down the street, as other vacuums came out of the darkness, all vrooming and chasing after us.

My alarm went off and I woke up in a sweat. Tobias was already getting ready for work. "How'd you sleep?" he asked. I told him about the dream. "That sounds like the type of nightmare a puppy would have," he said. "I am sure vacuum nightmares have been plaguing the puppy population for decades!"

So I guess I am channeling puppy fears into my dreams now. Maybe they are trying to tell me something, or maybe I am finally turning into a puppy. Puppies everywhere, I hear you. I see you. Vacuums are scary and must be stopped.

Lizzie McGuire "Hey Now" Image - tumblr.com

Puppy photo - petexpertise.com

Vacuum photo - bissell.com

Hey now, Hey now! This is what puppy dreeeaaaammmsss are made of!

Sing to me Paolo!

Honestly, whoever let me have paint on my computer - this is their fault.

Sleep tight, everyone.


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